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From Good to Amazing

By: Temple Hayes

Raised in South Carolina and born to question everything, including her sexual identity, Temple Hayes turned to spirit to pull her from the car wrecks of abuse and alcohol addiction. Today, as a new thought global leader, she’s showing others how to be exactly who they are and live the life their hearts desire. 
 

Believe in the Heart

Feb 06, 2017

If you believe within your heart, you'll know. What have you believed that your heart knows is untrue? 

Live 2017 Alive, Alert & Enthusiastic

Jan 02, 2017
hamlet-62850_640To be or not to be — it really is the question. Like Shakespeare’s Hamlet, in his famous soliloquy from Act III, Scene I, we are all choosing between living and dying every day. We are too often choosing to endure sadness and suffering or pretending to be someone else. 
 
We often stuff ourselves with positive statements that affirm who we are not and then wonder why changing our thoughts is not really changing our life. We’ve been told to “act as if” and hope it will happen. When we feel something is missing, we poke holes in our souls, and we try to fill these holes with food, prescription drugs or any beauty item marketed to make us feel more desired. This is not natural. We are created to be infinite, to be whole and to lack nothing. The truth is, if we pay attention to who we are and celebrate that, we don’t have to live inside a preconceived notion of happiness. We can move from the hole to the whole.  
We can be ourselves — alive, alert and enthusiastic about life.
 

Step One: Teach Your Inner Child to Embrace Who You Are

About 10 years ago, I wrote a little book for children called The Right to Be You. I wrote it because I grew up being afraid to be me. That’s when I discovered alcohol. I could secretly be who I wanted without having to feel the consequences of my thinking. Too often we say, “Children are our future.” Instead, we need to realize that now is the time to teach our children that it doesn’t matter if they are black or white or gay or straight. Whoever they are is perfect. We need to teach them it is OK to be themselves. It’s OK to believe what you believe and be happy about it.
 
We need to teach ourselves, too. We neither get better or worse as we get older — but more like ourselves. We have tried being like so many other people, places and things only to arrive at a place that says: I gotta be me. 
 
Look in the mirror, directly into your eyes and ask yourself who am I?  What do I think is missing from my life? Listen to what comes up. Write it down.  Then, ask yourself in what ways do you love, value and respect yourself?   Notice how alive you feel.  Hug yourself. Write it down.
 

Step Two: Pay Attention to What You Tell Yourself

If you have a regular meditation practice, you already understand how to sit in the seat of witness consciousness. You are probably watching your thoughts and learning to tune them out.   In this exercise, I want you to tune into those conversations with yourself so you can begin to permanently delete negative messages. Anytime you hear a thought that doesn’t embrace who you really are and what you love, value and respect about yourself, Stop! on that thought.  Highlight it in your mind and consciously delete it.  Say to yourself and mean it: I no longer believe that.  I am worthy.
 
Some thoughts and beliefs may come back up and if they do, repeat Step Two. Don’t tell yourself it’s not working or engage in a conversation with all that negative self talk.  This is a process and a practice.  The process is like baking a cake. Sometimes the mind like the kitchen gets messy.  As you clean it up, it’s worth it because the cake turns out fine. Soon, it becomes a practice and you don’t even notice the mess in the kitchen. Cleaning is automatic.  It’s important to practice. It’s  how you become alert to yourself and present for your life. 
 

Step Three:  Affirm with Intention and Enthusiasm

Energy is the key to changing your thoughts and your life.  Step One taught you who you really are and what makes you feel alive. Step Two released all the negative thought patterns, taught you to open your mind and live in the present moment.  Now it’s time to open your heart and create positive affirmations that inspire you to live your best life.
 
This is an energetic change. You have to make the shift from thoughts that drain you to thoughts that inspire you.  When you love and give your energy to something you are not depleted; you are blessed.  Make a list of the things in life you enjoy doing the most.  Look in the mirror and ask yourself, “how can I create MORE of this?”  Write it down. You will feel joy the moment you write the right one down.  When you do, say it aloud to yourself and experience the joy of knowing who you are. 
 
Once we know who we are, we understand the answer to Shakespeare’s question is, "To be." We easily move from thinking and doing to feeling and being. We understand and accept ourselves and our beliefs. This is the key to inner peace. And this key unlocks the door to world peace. 
 

From Face Value to Faith Value

Dec 05, 2016

What are you dreaming of that requires you to have faith? Here is a mantra that will bring you to a place of knowing the truth even though we're not able to see it.

Gratitude Past & Present

Nov 07, 2016
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I like to compare the experience of life and its many paths to traveling in an automobile. There is a reason that the rearview mirror is so small compared to the windshield, which we look through to move forward. There is some great wisdom in the fact that our past should be smaller than our present and our future. I always seemed to recognize this, and this knowledge supported me in becoming a great athlete, for I could forget about the bad play or the wrong move. I could also let go of a grudge in a relationship, for it was easy to understand not to carry it over into a new day. I seemed to know that the new day involved looking forward through the large windshield rather than staring in the rearview mirror at where I had already traveled.
  • Can you let your rearview mirror reflect the past as a smaller path and embrace the grand vision of the windshield of your future journey?
  • Can you see that you made some choices that kept you from being the real you, such as drinking? Or smoking or taking drugs? Or settling? Or playing small? Or blaming rather than claiming? Or becoming your parents rather than finding them in your becoming? 
  • Can you see the influencers who continue to be of the past rather than experiencing yourself as the main influencer of the present and the future?
  • Can you see, through your windshield, you taking care of yourself, accepting responsibility for yourself and bringing the new you into the current moment?
  • Can you let your rearview mirror reflect that you failed at your former marriage but have learned what not to do next time? 
  • Can you see, through your windshield, the real you meeting another real person who wants to dance and laugh with you all the days of your life?
If we continue to see ourselves in our past, we will continue to repeat our past in our current and future lives.
 
My love of life has become a true passion for me. Who knew that someone who almost killed herself from so many automobile accidents while under the influence, who went to jail twice, would end up being a life activist who reminds people every day, “Be the real you, and don’t take your life for granted”? Miracles are truly possible. I am a living miracle, and so are you. Bring on the miracles and the magic.
 
I believe that we are born with this amazing energy by the very nature of our being, and when we die, we are supposed to have as much energy as, if not more than, we were born with. This belief, unfortunately, is not supported by most people. The influencers try to teach us what to think rather than how to think for ourselves. They teach us that every event in our lives must take more and more of ourselves away. We are taught that by the time we are a certain age, we will be very old and will have less energy and vitality. We are taught by some of our communities that we will die around the same age as our parents or other family members. We are taught in some environments that by the time we are 40 or 50 we will be tired and old and that it is too late to dream, create or thrive. You can see on every television channel at any given time promotions for what you need to do to avoid a heart attack, the medication you need to take to be energized or less depressed, and how to replace hair or take it away. It is one thing to be proactive and make wonderful choices in our lives that will support our youthful energy and vitality; it is another when we are coming from the energy of “giving up our seat” of being the real us.
 
It is not proactive to take precautions to avoid something. There is a co-creative law of life that is always working, even for the people who say it is not working; it works for them by not working. When you come from an energy of “I have to do this to avoid that,” you usually bring the “that” to you. Heal the sensation of the “that,” and your belief will support the truths of your discovery.
 
Nor is it proactive to stop daring to raise the bar to be more than we have ever been before — to accept the ordinary as our ideal.
 
Anytime we take action based on a choice of avoiding or not wanting something to happen, we are bringing the lower vibration of what we do not want to happen into our creativity. We are a culture that avoids the idea of death so much that we do not understand that because of this avoidance of dying, many of us never live. Dying is natural; not living is not.
 

DNA: Our Two Choices

Oct 03, 2016

There are two choices that one can make about their DNA. What choice are you making?

Happy Birthday, Real Me

Sep 05, 2016

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My sobriety date, my real birthday, is Sept. 23, 1987 — 29 years! 

Every year, it amazes me, and I remain in awe of my life. Me, the one who could have easily died a physical death because of all the automobile accidents I had or the many times I drank enough alcohol to kill myself.
 
Each year when another birthday rolls around, I celebrate this journey on many levels. First, I survived long enough to tell these stories. Second, I actually lived long enough to discover aspects, gifts and qualities about myself that are beyond my past imaginings.
 
Instead of singing, “Happy birthday to me,” I have changed the words to, “Happy birthday, real me."
 
Happy birthday, real me
Happy birthday, real me
Happy birthday, real Temple
Happy birthday, real me
 
It’s a powerful moment and reflective of so many miracles that have happened and continue to happen in my life. I tell people that I am no different in character and in being than I was when I was a child; I have simply died a lot and been reborn a lot so that I could give myself permission to be the real me.
 
The real you is not a place you arrive at, a new credential or a new career. Being the real you means to know inside yourself that there is no holding back, that in every situation of your life you can feel fully expressed. Many people are walking around with unconscious straitjackets on that prevent them from being truly free. The civil rights movement took off not simply because Rosa Parks was tired of being abused and became brave. She changed the movement because in the way she responded, it was as if she was declaring, “This is my seat, and I am not moving!” Often, the real you and the real me are too quick to give up our seats. We are too quick to back down from what we really believe in. The world changed the day Parks declared she would not give up her seat.
 
How would the world change if you said, “My seat in life is to express how animals are wrongly treated” or “My seat in life is to show people how to be thriving and energetic” or “My seat in life is to show people how to have a successful marriage” or “My seat in life is to show people how to be healthy and happy”? Celebrating the tremendous freedom of the real you means being able to dance and feel and sing while claiming your “seat” in life and being unwilling to give it up.
 
I remember how surprised I was at my 50th birthday party to see more than 200 people singing “Happy Birthday” to me. It was such an overwhelming feeling. There was a huge photo of me as a baby about 9 months old, and there was also a photo of me in my 40s —what I had become. As I stood there, breathing in all of the energy from people from all walks of life, I was able to feel how much of the old me had died so that the real me was starting to come through. So many doubts and fears and so much distrust of allowing people to get close to me had to die so I could let people into my heart. A heart once guarded was now open to receive and let people in. It was truly a rebirthing experience.
 
Rebirthing is a strong part of our life experiences that most people have yet to make a connection with. We die often in this lifetime, and we are born again in this lifetime. Just as ocean waves move toward us and away from us with their ebb and flow, so it is with us in our human suits. We have areas in our lives that have died that we need to wake up, and we have areas in our lives that we need to truly bury and put behind us. To be thriving trees, we must honor the value of pruning ourselves from time to time.
 
The deepest realization of our covenant with our Creator is allowing the new layering of who we are to continue to emerge.
 
What is currently in your life that you need to prune? Is it time to let go of some relationships that are not changing and growing with you? Is it time to let go of another layer of self-criticism or of being too analytical? Perhaps it is time to prune spending too much time watching television or overindulging in negativity.
 
“Happy birthday, real you” gets you into the mindset of the values and promises you continue to make to yourself and others every year of this amazing journey we call life.
 
 

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